Substitute Teacher

"We had a substitute teacher today!"
"Oh really...who was it?"
"Oh you know her mom...it was "Mrs. Prezley's mom!"

***Prezley is one of his friends.

Tattoos

"There are two kids in my school with REAL tattoos!  One is in 1st grade and one is in 4th grade!"

Classroom Pet

"Mom, you're not going to believe what our teacher brought to school today!  We have hermit crabs!  One is yellow and one is black.  We named the yellow one Sponge Bob and the black one Sandy.  And you know what else?  We all get to take turns watering them and taking care of them!"

Pre-Season NFL Football Game

Dad and son watching NFL football game....

"Daddy, do these football players make a lot of money?" 
"Yes, they sure do!" 
"Do they make more than college players?"
"Yes, they do cause college players don't get paid to play to play ball."
"Oh!....well do you know how much money they make?"
"I told you son...they make A LOT of money!"
"Hummm....well do they make enough to buy an Ipad?"
"Yes, they can buy all the Ipads they want!"
"Well in that case I think I'll just skip college and play in the NFL!"

Eyes in the Back of your Head

"Mom, do you have eyes in the back of your head?"
"No, why did you ask that?"
"Cause everytime I try to sneak past you and eat in my room you always catch me!"

Homework

Mom - "I can't believe you've been in school a whole week and haven't had any homework."
Son - "I told you she was a good teacher!  I guess she's probably still just getting used to us."

Helping me be Good

Happy as could be...with a positive tone in his voice...

"Guess what mom!  My teacher said she is going to help me be good this year!  She move my desk kind of away from 'my group' so now I won't be tempted to talk as much!  I sure do like her!"