Dying Eggs

Son:  What are we doing in class tomorrow night at church?
Dad:  We're going to dye eggs.
Son:  Cool!  Can I take my gun to shoot 'em?
Dad:   Dying eggs means we're going to color them, not shoot them!

Cocktail Sauce

While dining at a local fish restaurant, I was getting some ketchup for my french fries.  My son gave some good advise...."Mom, be careful...if you get the ketchup with seeds in it, it's not REAL ketchup!"

Translation - Make sure you get the ketchup rather than the cocktail sauce!

Does my uncle have a job?

"Mom, I've been thinking along time about something and I need to ask you a question."

"Ok son, What is it?"

"Does my uncle work?  I mean does he have a job? What exactly does he do?  I know my aunt is a teacher, my daddy makes eye glasses, and you sell stuff but I don't know what Uncle Ra Ra does?

"Well, that's a good question....he works where they make alot of electricity...you know like when you go in a room and flip on a switch and the lights come on...he makes that happen."

"Wow!  That's cool!  Does he get to make "clappers" too?"

Cat Bath

We now have a cat at our home...it just appeared in our barn one day...and we've adopted it as our own...

"Mom, why does he keep licking himself?"
"Well son, that's how a cat gives himself a bath."

Son thinks about that for a while and finally says...

"If I were I cat, I would NEVER lick myself!  I would walk into the bathroom and meow and meow until someone put me into the bath tub!"

Rambo or Rainbow

"I wish we could watch Rainbow tonight!"

***He meant Rambo

Snot Rockets

"I have so much snot in my head, I think I could blow snot rockets!"

Tablets vs. Pills

Before taking his prescription, he was reading the instructions..."take 2 tablets by mouth before bedtime"...

"Mom, I think the pharmacy man messed up my prescription!!"
"Why, what's wrong?"
"Just look at the instructions!  How can anybody swallow a tablet?? 
"Son, a tablet is just another name for a pill."
"No, mom...you write on a tablet, but you take a pill!"