Substitute Teacher

"We had a substitute teacher today!"
"Oh really...who was it?"
"Oh you know her mom...it was "Mrs. Prezley's mom!"

***Prezley is one of his friends.

Tattoos

"There are two kids in my school with REAL tattoos!  One is in 1st grade and one is in 4th grade!"

Classroom Pet

"Mom, you're not going to believe what our teacher brought to school today!  We have hermit crabs!  One is yellow and one is black.  We named the yellow one Sponge Bob and the black one Sandy.  And you know what else?  We all get to take turns watering them and taking care of them!"

Pre-Season NFL Football Game

Dad and son watching NFL football game....

"Daddy, do these football players make a lot of money?" 
"Yes, they sure do!" 
"Do they make more than college players?"
"Yes, they do cause college players don't get paid to play to play ball."
"Oh!....well do you know how much money they make?"
"I told you son...they make A LOT of money!"
"Hummm....well do they make enough to buy an Ipad?"
"Yes, they can buy all the Ipads they want!"
"Well in that case I think I'll just skip college and play in the NFL!"

Eyes in the Back of your Head

"Mom, do you have eyes in the back of your head?"
"No, why did you ask that?"
"Cause everytime I try to sneak past you and eat in my room you always catch me!"

Homework

Mom - "I can't believe you've been in school a whole week and haven't had any homework."
Son - "I told you she was a good teacher!  I guess she's probably still just getting used to us."

Helping me be Good

Happy as could be...with a positive tone in his voice...

"Guess what mom!  My teacher said she is going to help me be good this year!  She move my desk kind of away from 'my group' so now I won't be tempted to talk as much!  I sure do like her!"

Borrow your credit card

Eating dinner one evening at a local restaurant...they had electronic games you could play...
"Mom, can I pleeeeease have you credit card!  I want to play one of those games!"

Tarzan vs. John Cena

Watching old Tarzan movies on TCM..."Wow daddy!  Tarzan can wrestle just like John Cena!"

First day of School

Today was the first day of school, Anna, 10th grade and Clay, 3rd grade.

Waking up early to go to school..."I couldn't go to sleep last night cause my eyes wouldn't stay closed."
"I think I only got to sleep about an hour last night!"

"I'm so glad to go back to school so we can get out of this house!"

"My teacher said she don't yell at her students...Mom, I think you could learn something from her!"

"My teacher said if we're good all week, we get to have ice cream on Friday and if we're bad we don't get any ice creamn and we have to write off when our class goes outside.  You better believe I'm gonna try my VERY BEST everyday and be good this year!"

"My teacher said we're going to have a science fair this year.  We have to make a project and then tell about it and we're probably even gonna be on TV!!  I'm kind of scared about that...hope I do good!

"I think my teacher is gonna be sooooo good this year!  I can't wait to go back Monday!"

Magic Potties

"Don't you wish we had magic potties at our house?!"

Translation - Automatic flushing potties are really cool!