Fizz Pop

"Mom, my teacher is so funny!"
"Really?"
"Yeah!  Do you know what she calls a fart?"
"What?"
"Well, if somebody farts in class, she's calls it a fizz pop!"

Dinner Converssation

While eating dinner, my child says "My friend brough his playboy to school today but he wouldn't let me see it!"  My mouth dropped...I couldn't believe it....I said, "Did your teacher know he had it?"...Yes, she don't care if he has it!....I'm getting concerned and asked, "Why didn't your friend let you see it?"  "Because he wants to play it by himself."  "Are you sure it was a playboy?"  "Oh Mom...playboy, gameboy...what's the difference!" 

Whew! 

Sleep number bed

After practicing basketball...son walks in and says, "Whew!  I think I need a sleep number bed!  My back is killing me!"

Mom's translation - my son watches way too much TV!  Lol!