Son:  "Mom, before I was born, you know, in the old days, was everything always in black, white, and grey?"
Mom:  "What do you mean?
Son:  "You know mom, was everything black, grey, and white like on Andy Griffin?  I'm so glad we have colors now!"

So sleepy...."Mondays are the worst days ever invented."

Sister:  "When I'm 16, I'm getting a job at Chick-fil-a so I'll have Sunday off so I can go to church."
Brother:  "When I"m 16, I'm getting a job at Taco Bell so I can have ALL the tacos I want!"

Dinner at Chinese Restaurant

Our kids have always said they didn't like Chinese food although they've never tasted it.  They had just declared it to be nasty!!  Last night we decided to go and take our son but we never called it a Chinese restaurant.  We just called it "The Buffet Pan" and explained that you could eat anything from chicken, pork, etc. and after eating they even have a dessert bar and you can have ice cream.
Some of my favorite quotes from the evening::

• These waitresses in here don't understand me...I don't think they are from around here!
• Daddy what is that in your plate, a dead mouse!??  (It was craw fish and that's him eating one in the picture!!)
• Fortune cookie said "You will soon discover how truly fortunate you really are".  He said, "Well DUH, all you have to do is just look across the table at me!"
• Leaving the restaurant:  "We need to come here more often!  There chicken wings are better than daddy's!"

Flying in Smokin' planes

"Do you have to take any business trips any time soon?"
"Not until May, why?"
"You need to see if they'll let you fly in a smokin' plane!"
"What's that?"
"Oh, you know!  There the ones that have smoke coming out of them and they spell words in the sky!"
"That would be a COOL flight!"

"This girl told me I was tripin, I asked her what it meant because I didn't trip on anything."

Watching TV this morning before school..."Can we PLEEEEASE go to Rent-a-Center after school today?"
"Why in the world would you want to go there son?"
"They just said you can get a FREE big screen TV and a FREE  IPAD until February 24th and I want one REAL BAD!"

"Mama, Will you wake me up at zero o'clock in the morning?  That should give me enough time to get ready for school."

Eating dinner this evening....While eating hot wings..."only REAL MEN can eat hot sauce right out of the bottle!"

Friend spent the night last night....playing with the walkie talkies..."Hey, you go hide and tell me where you're at and I'll try to come find you!"

"I'm sooooo tired this morning, I think I only got about 2 seconds of sleep last night!"

"Did you know your stomach was purple? No son, I didn't. How did you know that? Just look at the picture in my science book! DUH!"

"PLEASE, stop worrying about my grades!! My teacher says as long as we don't ask to go to the bathroom in her class this whole semester, she'll add 5 points to our final grade!"

“Mom, you FINALLY wore your Christmas present from ME to work today!  I’m sooo glad that you just LOVE it!  I bet nobody has one like it!”  ----  He was thrilled over his “Santa Shop” gift for me.

If you'd just take me to Taco Bell AND Disney World on the same day, I'll be your best friend FOREVER!!

"Son, Do you know why you were out of school today?"
"Yes, mom!  It's Martin Luther King's birthday."
"Well, Do you know WHO he was?"
"Yes, he was the President!"
"What was he the President of?
"I'm not sure...they haven't taught us much about President's yet!"

Mom:  What's the matter son?  Is your stomach upset?  Do you need to poop? 
Son:  No, it was just his twin brother.
Mom:  Huh??
Son:  I just had to toot!

"Hey!  Look at me in daddy's coat!  I think you could get a baby hippo in here!"

Hey Mom!  Do YOU know what they call boys who wear make-up and paint their finger nails?  I sure do!  Do you?  Yeah....ROCKSTARS!!  Duh!

"Son, I think that coat is too little for you.  Yeah mom, I think it is too cause I think you bought it about 200 years ago."

Mama, I've been noticing when I watch Sponge Bob when they show a cemetary scene, it's always the same guys tombstone. Really? Who dies on Sponge Bob? I'm not sure of his last name but his first name is RIP.

Grandparents and Cell phones

Grandparent to teenage daughter:  Can you help me with my cell phone?
Teenager:  Sure, what do you need?
Grandparent:  I need to delete some contacts.
Teenager:  Ok, that's no problem.  Are you sure you want to delete them or do we just need to change their number?
Grandparent:  You can delete them; there dead so I can't call them anymore!

"Mom, can you count to a trillion?"  I don't know; I've never tried.  Oh, I guess your just not as smart as I am in math!

"Mom, since you vacuumed yesterday and I vacuumed today, can we PLEEEEEASE let that be all for the year?!" I hate vacuuming and so do you!"

"Go brush your teeth and get ready for bed....do I have to???  It's SATURDAY!

"Mama!...Mama!!...Mama!!!...Mama!!!! WHAT?! WHAT?! WHAT?!...I just want to tell you that I love you.."

"This girl in my class has a cast on her leg.  She said it was a real bad FRACTION!"

"My nanna's friend has been soooo sick, I think she has ammonia."

Brother to sister:  "I love your style bag"
(He was referring to a purse)
Sister to brother:  LOL!!  You make me snort!

"Mom, Do you know how to tie a "country knot"?

He was referring to a Lasso.

While eating the traditional New Year's Day lunch...Hey mom!  I think I know where hog jowls come from!  And where is that son?
"CHICKEN"