Grey Clouds

Riding in the car today...son in front seat...listening to music and he was looking up at the clouds...

Son starts laughing..."Wow!  Did you see that?" 
Mom:  "No, I don't guess.  What happened?
Son:  "I just pooted and when I did that cloud turned grey!  Watch and see if it happens again!"

Muscles

"Just look at my muscles; I bet you can't put your hand around my BIG muscles!"

Papaw's Pillow

"Mama, I just love this pillow!  It's my favorite!"
"Oh really, I didn't know that!  Why is it your favorite?"
"Cause it smells like my papaw!"

Old Hands

"Wow Mom!  You sure do have some old lookin' hands!"

Substitute Teacher

"We had a substitute teacher today and she was SUPER fun!"
"Oh, really?  What'd she do?"
"She helped us get all our work done really fast and then she let us play outside!"

Little Brother going potty

"Little brothers are sooo gross!  They never pee IN the potty...they just pee AROUND it!  Ewwww!

Chains

"Mama, see this chain?  It's really a dog chain but some people think it's cool to wear these kinds of chains!"

Burping

"I can burp the ABC's and I don't even drink Dr. Peppers!"

Fast Bike Rider

"I peddle my bike so fast!  I bet I can go about 60 or 70 mph!"

Library...pronounced "Lie-berry"

"Mama, if I EVER tell you I'm going to the lie-berry, I want you to know it's not because I'm going there to read.  I'm going because I'm tired and I want some sleep and we have to be quiet there so I should sleep REAL good."

Up-sleeves and up-pants

"You know....I just love this time of year cause now I can wear my up-sleeves and up-pants to school."

TRANSLATION - Kids are excited they can wear short sleeves and shorts to school because the weather is so warm now.

Karate vs. Butt Spankin'

"This kid in my class said that his dad knows karate.  I told him my dad knows butt spankin!"

Triple H Imitation

"Hey, look!  I'm Triple H!"

Eleven hundred thousand pounds

"I wish I was as big as you then I'd weight about eleven hundred thousand pounds!"

The Frill

The Frill is our grill made from a 1940-ish refrigerator.  It was given the name "Frill" from a dear friend in FL.  Some of the best ribs, chicken, and pork chops have been cooked in the frill.  Looking forward to dinner this evening, tomorrow, and the next day!  Hope everyone has a wonderful St. Patrick's Day!

Madea

While shopping this evening...

(in a whispering voice)..."Mama, that woman over there kind of scares me."
"Why, what'd she do?"
(still whispering)  "Nothing yet...but she's big and she's kind of talking like Madea."

"How you gonna make money?"

Conversation with grandparents...

"How's school?"
"Not good, it's too hard..."
"Well, you'll just have to study a lot and try to make good grades so when you're older you can get a good job, make good money and buy yourself nice things."
"I'm not getting a job."
"Well, how do you plan to make money?"
"Oh, I guess I'll just sell stuff to make money.  I won't need much.  I'll just need a couch and a TV and some food."
"What do you plan on selling to make money?"
"Well, I think I'll just sell lemonade and hot dogs!  I believe I can make enough money doing that!"

  ---8 yrs old

So white....

"What if you were so white you'd be seen in the dark...(thinking for a moment, then says...)  I guess you'd be like a flashlight."

Septic Tank Smells

Today, we had to call a septic tank company to pump out our tank.

Son wanted to be right in the middle of the men working.  When the workers removed the lid from the tank..."Ewww daddy, I think these men must be used to that smell!  I could never do that!  That's nasty!"

Daylight Savings Time

Very frustrated....."I don't understand daylight savings time at all!  Disney channel keeps saying my favorite show is coming on at 8 o'clock, 7 central.  So, what time is that?"

Special Words

Slenging - Pronounced (slen ging).  Word used when you take wrapping ribbon and make curly bows.

Muncher - Word used for kitchen utensil that you use to mash potatoes or strawberries.

Pitlicks - Pronounced (Pit licks)  Word used for lipstick. 

                      "Am I big enough to wear some of your pitlicks?"

Where's my gun!?!!!

"I need my BB gun!  I need my BB gun and I need it NOW!!!"
"Why?  What's wrong?"
"There's a wasp in the house and I'm gonna get it!"

Dinner at Los Portales

Leaving the Mexican restaurant...son notices what one of his friends is eating...

"Mama, did you see what he was eating?  I didn't know you could get CHICKEN NUGGETS here!"

Daddy...the fixer!

"My daddy can fix anything!  He can fix a 4 wheeler, a tractor, a truck, a lawn mower and he even fixes supper somtimes."

Spelling Sentences

Homework:  Write a sentence with your spelling words.

Son::  "How to you spell bear?"
Mom:  "Bear...like a grizzly bear?"
Son:  "No!!  Like a brown bear!

School Picture Day

"Hey mom!  Can you fix my hair like Elvis?"

---1st grade

Chill Bumps

"It was so cold at baseball practice tonight, I think I had chill bumps on my booty cheeks."

Best Sunday Ever

"This is gonna be one of the best Sundays ever."
"Any why is that?"
"Cause I get to see my Nanna and Papaw after church and I bet she's fixed me a Bananna Pudding!"

Splinters

Son was sitting in my lap and we both had on shorts..."Oooo, Mama!  I can't sit in your lap any longer.  Those splinters are hurting me!"

Translation....mama needs to shave!

Dinner at Snookums

Snookums is one of our favorite "hole in the wall" steak house.  Tonight the kids were on a roll:

• "Mama, look at that grandma over there!  She's texting with an iphone!  I know if that 'ole grandma can learn to text, my nanna could learn to on an iphone!  I need to take her shopping for a new phone!"
• "I need to wait until my steak warms down before I eat."
• After dinner, I gave son a quarter to get a gum ball.  He got a blue one and was thrilled.  After we'd been home a little while, he said,  "Look mom (reaching behind his ear) he removed the gum from the back of his ear and said, "I'm like the girl on Charlie and the Chocolate Factory"...then put the gum in his mouth and started chewing!

Coming home sick from school

"Mama, I feel so bad...I can't even think."