Gym set

"I sure do wish you'd put a gym set in my bedroom then I could play on it even if it was raining outside."

Fighting or Wresling

"My teacher told me I have to quit fighting on the play ground.  I told her we weren't fighting; we were just wrestling.  Nobody was mad or nothing.  We just like to wrestle.  Then she told me I couldn't put anybody in a head lock.  I don't think she watches much wrestling cause I had 'em in a Full Nelson, not a Head Lock."

"CRAZY about books week"

This week at school to show that we are crazy about books, the kids are able to participate in a week of "fun days" this week.  For example, today was crazy hair day and tomorrow is crazy sock day.  Today, he decided that he would not comb his hair this morning so he would got to school with a "bed head" hair do.   Then, he said..."I wish we had stinky breath day one day so I wouldn't have to brush my teeth."

Fake & Bake Tans

"Some girls look like a bag of Doritos!  They've tanned so much their skin is orange!"

What's on your list?

My world revolves around lists.  I'm usually making a list of tasks I need to complete for the day or week or putting together a grocery list.  Sometimes it maybe a list of all the activities/plans we have for the week.   I guess my habit has rubbed off on my son.  Today during church, he wrote his list for the day.  Enjoy!

1.  When I get home, I'm changing my clothes.
2.  I will eat lunch.
3.  I will ride 4-wheelers today and hope I get muddy.
4.  I will watch TV.

Recliners in cars

"I wish the seats in your car were like a couch and they'd have a recliner where your feet go."

Car without a lid

"Mama, you need a car without a lid!"

Translation - Mama needs a convertible!

Taking Lunch to School

"Can I PLEASE take my lunch to school tomorrow?"
"Sure, do you want a bologna sandwich or a peanut butter & jelly sandwich?"
"Will either of them be ruined by lunch time?"
"No, they'll be fine...why?"
"Well,  there's this kid in my class...his mom packs his lunch every day and she always puts a banana in his lunch box and by the time we go to lunch its ruined!  It's sooo nasty!  I don't want to take anything that will be ruined and everybody see it cause everybody will say eeewwww, that's gross!

School Lunch

"School lunchroom pizza is so much better than Domino's or Pizza Hut!"

Mama can't Sing!

"PLEASE STOP SINGING!!!!  You're hurting my ears!"

President's Day

"I can't believe you have to work on President's Day!!  You should tell them the only way you'll work is if they pay you about a million dollars today."

"If nanna keeps me today, she'll make us clean all day.  But, if papaw keeps us, we get to play all day!"

"The best thing about no school today...pajama pants, boots, and a game of basketball"

Church Pants

"Please just let me wear blue jeans to church today!  I don't like wearing church pants cause they make my booty look big!"

Free Throws

Son:  "Mama, I'm glad I got knocked down today at the game."
Mom:  "Why would you want to be knocked down?"
Son:  "Cause when you get knocked down, you get two free throws and those are easy to make!"

Put your shorts up!

Told son to "put up" his shorts...this is where he put them!

Scissors

"Mom, where's the scissors?"
"Why do you need scissors?
"I though I would give you a hair cut!"

Facebook

"Hey, mom!  Are you on facebook?"
"Yes, why?"
"I just thought of a facebook status for you."
"Any what's that?"
With an evil grin and a little giggle he says "You should write...Daddy has stinky poots and see if you get any likes or comments!" ....

Big Toenail

"I think my big toenail grows about an inch every night!"

Happy Valentine's Day!

Grandparents sent card/money in the mail for Valentine's...

• "No fair...you got a $10 and I just got two $5's."
• "Mama, look at their return address....they really are "Southside Hawk" fans...I've known it all along....even the card is red!" .....(Grandparents are "Huntingdon Mustang" fans and they live on "Hawkins")

The Grammy Awards

"He's too fat to sing that song!"

"I think that man must have made his own guitar...man, it looks old!"

"Why are all the singers so sweaty?  All the're doing is standing there singing...wonder if they might be scared or something..."

One of Adele's acceptance speeches..."She talks funny...what'd she say?"

Let it snow! Let it snow!

Pajamas on inside out!!!  Flushing Ice Cubes!!    Let it snow!  Let it snow!!

Hoping for no school tomorrow!

Buried Treasures

Running into living room....."MAMA, MAMA....look what I just found!...holding a toy..."I've missed this toy soooooo much....sister hid it from me and I never found it until now"

"Son, If you'll just help me keep your room clean, there's no telling what all you could find!"

"You ain't kidding, there's probably hidden treasures in there!"

Words with Friends

I was playing "Words with Friends" on my phone.  If your not familiar with it, it's similar to scrabble...

I said, "I need a word that begins with a "Q".

"That's easy....CUCUMBER!"

Telling Time

"Mama, what time is it?"
"It's 7:45"
"Is that FM or PM?

John Cena & Fruity Pebbles

Sons aunt calls to tell us Fruity Pebbles is offering a chance to win tickets to see John Cena (my sons favorite wrestler).  He was soooo excited!!!

He's never eaten Fruity Pebbles but was willing to try them because he wanted to win.  After eating his first bowl, we decided to check our code to see if we were Wrestlemania winners.  Unfortunately, he didn't win.

He's not a happy fellow tonight.  He thinks Fruity Pebbles is a rip off and he will NEVER EVER eat them again because they are really NASTY,  but says John Cena is still the best!

"Did you know Obama is my favorite President?"
"And why is he your favorite?"
"Cause he's the only one I know."
--7 yrs old--

Big Buildings

"Hey, mom!  What's that big building over there?"
"It's a hotel; like what we would stay in when we go on vacation."
"Huh, well that's kind of weird!  Why would anybody stay in a hotel in Jackson?  We don't have a beach or anything!"

Super Bowl Sunday

"I wish TN and AL were playing today!"

"Did you know I could burp REALLY LOUD anytime I want to and I don't even drink Dr. Pepper!"

"Hey daddy, if you played football every time you got a touchdown you could do the belly roll!"

As we were leaving sons basketball game today, it was raining.  He noticed an elderly lady putting a rain bonnet on her head.  Very quietly he whispered to me, "What is that and what is she doing with it?"  I explained what it was and then he looked up at me at said, "Well, I hope you NEVER put one of those on in front of my friends!  I would just have to act like I didn't know you!"

Orange

"Orange" you glad to see me smile!

Paris Hilton

"Gurl, how you get that platinum blonde hair?  I'm gonna start calling you Paris Hilton."

Sometimes it’s just not worth the fight….

“Mom, I reaaaallllly want to bring my teacher a gift to school today.” 

“Aww, son that’s so sweet of you to think of her.   What’d you have in mind?”

“Oh, I don’t know…why don’t you just cook her some food.   I’m sure she’d eat whatever you fix!”

“Well, it’s 7:15 and we have to get to school so I don’t have time to cook anything.  Why don’t we just think about it today and you can bring her something tomorrow.”

Eye’s welling up with tears…Mom I have to bring her something TODAY….PLEEEEEESEEE!!!!

Son, not today…I’m sorry.  I’ll pick up something today after work and you can take her a gift tomorrow.

No!   No!  No!!   It has to be TODAY!!!   (crying and upset…)  You don’t understand!  PLEEEEEESEE mom!  Just let me look for a minute and I’ll find her something.  I know I can find something here that she will love!

After a couple of minutes….

He walks in all smiles and says:  “Mom I found the perfect gift….one of your Diet Dr. Peppers!  She LOVES them and you have sooooo many of them.  Please let me take it to her…you’ll never miss this one”

 So I did…it wasn’t worth arguing over anymore…